(Source: hardcorenyan, via power2theprincess)
: princesshoneycunt: “Submission is a gift,” is something I’ve often...
“Submission is a gift,” is something I’ve often heard. My friend Lili and I would roll our eyes when we would hear that metaphor, “Oh, she’s one of ‘those’ girls. “ We both agreed that the kind of women and men that thought of SAAG (submission as a gift) were a bit soft…
Is your submission worth something? It is something you’re not compelled to give to everyone, but if it has no worth then why would someone care if you felt compelled to submit to them? I think this is perhaps why people consider it a gift.A gift isn’t something to be earned. A gift is simply given with no return gesture expected. It also isn’t meant to be taken back. If I end a relationship, am I an indian giver? Or do I just conjure up a new gift for every partner I have?
Just not a fan of that metaphor.
daddyhitsme: Respect within BDSM
I’ve been finding that a lot of people don’t understand how respect should be shown in a D/s style relationship. While it is important to show respect to the dominant when dealing with them, a lot of people overlook that how they deal with a dominants submissive is also…
Did anyone else have a Librarian fetish?
“Ssh! We have to be quiet!”
(Source: searchingforbadassmagic)
Perverts Of Color: Points of View: Leather and The Next Generation Perspectives
Disclaimer: I don’t have authority to speak for everyone who
identifies as Leather or The Next Generation. Nor do I believe my
definitions for both groups are universally accepted. However, as a
person under 35 who is navigating the Leather Community, I have
noticed a disconnect that really…
Not Role play. Just me.: Being a submissive black woman
Someone asked me earlier this week to talk about this.
I forgot. Forgive me.
Anyway, I’d say that the hardest part is dealing with the negative stereotypes surrounding black women. People have talked to me like I’m some freak of nature because I’m a black woman and enjoy serving my guy. The…
IM A SWITCH BUT I SEE WHAT YOU SAYING GIRL…MORE POWER TO YOU
I’ve had to explain to my close family on several occasions why I do what I do. They can’t wrap their minds around it either. Especially when it comes to scening. ”you mean you just let him hit you…..yes, I do”
His Darling Girl: fringeofdarkness: On Intelligent, Well-Read Submissives.I love...
On Intelligent, Well-Read Submissives.
I love intelligent girls. Absolutely adore them. And I find those who are passionate about reading and writing share a common thread. They all yearn for an equally intelligent Dominant who can reach deep into their erotic “centers”,…
(Source: underview)
Into Submission: Thoughts on submission; Tasks
Most Masters/Madams give their submissive’s daily and weekly tasks. They can run the range from finding pictures, writing brief tales, keeping a journal, doing a specific thing at a specific time and so forth. My submissive has daily tasks that change week to week, and weekly tasks which are…
Not Role play. Just me.: Vanilla people who enjoy BDSM vs Lifestylers ***REPOST***
At first glance, there doesn’t seem to be a difference, but I assure you there is.
A few years ago, I was talking to a friend who was into BDSM long before me…but I was sharing with him some of my new experiences because now I could relate to some of what he enjoyed.
During the conversation he…
Subbie Cum Slut: If you're a Dom or a sub...
I’d love to bend your ear.
I’m at a really strange place in my D/s relationship right now and I would REALLY love to talk to someone who actually is/has been in a functioning, healthy, Dom/sub relationship. I know, none of us is an expert, but I think just talking this out with someone who…
Domination and submission. Bondage. Degredation. Pain. Spanking. Control. Denial. Chastity. Obedience. Choking. Watersports.
Not exactly words or deeds one would associate with a loving, sensitive, compassionate relationship between two people very much in love. I know my parents would totally have freaked out at the thought of me engaging in any of these things. They were total prudes, of course, but many relatively sexually liberated people also have little understanding or tolerance for the type of relationship I have with my husband (Including those tittering with secret delight at Fifty Shades of Grey, as if it represented anything but the adolescent fantasies of a particularly immature and inept writer) . Since we keep it in the dark from everyone but Tumblr, it doesn’t technically matter, but it does mean, like so many minorities, we have to hide who we are and what we do. That’s sad. To be with others who share what we do, we would have to frequent places that would be safer, less peculiar, were our lifestyle truly socially acceptable. But those who love Fifty Shades would be quite frightened of the reality of slavery as I and many other experience it, just like the average person. They want a taste of naughtiness, but not the real thing.
It’s annoying and frustrating to read and hear about D/s from people who have no idea what it is like yet claiming to be experts on the basis of such drivel. They have a safe masturbation fantasy, but will be happy to put a scarlet letter on anyone whom they catch actually doing the very things they flicked their clits to.
The relationship I have with my husband is most certainly not abusive. I’m not brainwashed, co-dependent, or desperate. Long before my husband ever touched me I knew I was submissive. Or I should say, I was sexually submissive but didn’t recognize it as such until I began my relationship with my husband. I was aroused at situations that felt, for lack of a better word, dangerous. Perhaps a mental and inhibition challenge might better describe it. I like to be pushed to do the socially taboo. To do things I think I don’t want to. I like to give that control to someone, but not anyone. Someone I trust will push me, but not break me. There is always a risk. But then vanilla relationships are fraught with risks of heartache, embarrassment, and emotional pain.
My husband gives me love and affection daily. And not the affection induced by guilt offered by a violent alcoholic after beating his wife, but of a man who loves the woman who is with him. I experience more tenderness and genuine love in a day than I see countless others enjoy in a month. Submission does not create that, but it does enable it. Just as it enables my love, respect and devotion to be experienced all the more strongly for the man I married.
Drinking pee and having my butt spanked are not the end, but just the vehicle by which we push, grow and stretch ourselves and our relationship. I chose the photo above for this post because it represents what I believe is a true reflection of us. Close. Intimate. Mutually supportive. And tender. It’s what love is all about, and in this we are the same as any happy vanilla couple.
This is not a compromise, subordinating our D/s relationship. It’s the essence of it.
~Pet
(Source: thebadboys)
His Darling Girl: my two about fifty
I have been reluctant to join the discussion about Fifty Shades of Grey because it seems to be as polarizing an issue as American politics. Whatever I say I will rub at least half the folks the wrong way.
However, as my father has repeatedly said throughout my life, I never know when to keep my…
I very much relate to the woman he describes here.On The Unknown.
As I have often related, I seek intelligent, strong, independent, talented, attractive, sensual girls. I particularly enjoy girls who shoulder significant responsibility in the vanilla world, leading, guiding, managing, or coaching. And while I have worked with experienced submissives, I have a penchant for novices and beginners who have fantasized and hungered for a proper introduction to the joys of BDSM.
If this sounds counter intuitive for an experienced, sensual Dominant who journeys on the fringe of darkness across several interests, consider again. There is no greater joy than introducing and/or training a girl like this. And one of the most rich, erotic aspects of this training is the unknown.
The girl I have described rarely confronts the unknown. She is in control in the vanilla world, and she has most likely controlled her vanilla sexual encounters her entire life. She gets what she wants, and she uses any number of methods to do just that.
What would compel a girl like this to strip, kneel, be collared, and be taken into my world - on the fringe of darkness? A place where she is taught to not think, not ask, not discuss, and not direct, but only to do, and do to the best of her ability? Especially a place where everything she encounters - instructions, implements, positions, etc. - has no basis of comparison in her life to date?
Simple answer. Because it is unknown. Because it is a challenge she has craved but never confronted. And because she hungers for the fringe of darkness - where she can release every responsibility and stress of her vanilla existence and fall into me.
She knows she will face many erotic predicaments and challenges. She understands I will bring her to the razors edge of pain and pleasure with implements she has never encountered. She anticipates being used for my pleasure, and being required to use all her sexual talents and abilities in serving me in deliciously erotic ways. Beyond that - she faces the abyss.
She will fall into me because she knows and trusts me. I have established this trust in a thoughtful, caring manner, over a period of time. It is a core requirement for any journey with me. And with this trust - the most compelling allure for a girl like this is the simplest:
This is the place where her fantasies become memories.
Caption © Fringe of Darkness, 2012
Image - property of photographer
(Source: lustundluxus)
The “10 Rules” of D/s
1. Be Patient
“To the Dominant, I say this: Until you enter into a relationship with a submissive, you have no more right to order him/her around than does anyone else. Give your submissive time to get to know you and what you are like. Finesse and subtlety are major elements of Dominance. Similarly, strength and gentleness go hand in hand. The sensitivity and awareness (or lack thereof) that you show in the real world is likely to be repeated in the playroom.
“To the submissive, I say this: A potential Dominant will let you know if She or He is interested in you or not. Keep in mind that your purpose as a submissive is to serve and to satisfy someone who will take into consideration the realisation of your fantasies. Don’t expect your Dominant to be able to turn on like a light switch. The timing must be right for both of you.”
2. Be Humble
“To the Dominant I say this: You may be God’s gift to the world, but no one needs to hear it or wants to hear it. You will have ample opportunities to show how good you are – and plenty of opportunities to make a fool of yourself. No matter what you claim, the “real you” will show through in a scene. Don’t set yourself up for a failure by developing expectations that you know you can never reach.
“To the submissive I say: You may be God’s gift to the world and the most sought after prize in town, but no one needs to hear it or wants to hear it. You will have ample opportunity to show how good you are. No matter what you claim, the “real you” will show through in a scene. Don’t set yourself up for failure by developing expectations that you know you will never allow a Dominant produce within you.”
3. Be Open
“To the Dominant I say this: Although you are considered to be the teacher in D/s relationship, you can always learn from your submissive, no matter how inexperienced. Be willing, as well, to learn from other Dominants who may have a totally different perspective from yours. Try to approach by-now-familiar trips with an attitude of wonderment and discovery. Be aware that everyone has her or his own personal style.
“To the submissive, I say this: You can learn something about SM and about yourself from E/everyone into the scene, no matter how experienced or inexperienced T/they are, or how Dominant or submissive T/they are. D/s- SM is a very personal art, and an “I already know it all” attitude will make you miss valuable SM lessons and experiences, and ignore potentially valuable D/s friends.”
4. Be Honest
“To the Dominant I say this: If you lack experience in an area that your submissive would like to experiment with, be honest about it. Your partner has a right to know that. Be honest with yourself and take your submissive only to those levels at which you are completely in control of the situation. Safety should always be the first concern, taking priority over how hot a particular scene is.
“To the submissive, I say this: Don’t be afraid to share your needs and fantasies. Your Dominant expects it. Honesty about your wants, health concerns, and turn-offs is essential to a good scene. Lying or being less than candid can only lead to problems, as the Dominant will base the scene on inaccurate information. Besides causing problems, it can be dangerous.”
5. Be Realistic
“To the Dominant I say this: End the scene with the submissive wanting more, not wishing there had been less. Remember that power, control, and sensitivity are the keys, not just the intensity of the stimulation. Be clear about what is fantasy, and has little to do with what works in practice. Your favourite porno picture books may be stimulating in themselves, but don’t try to imitate them to the last detail.
“To ths submissive, I say this: Your Dominant is human, and even the most experienced have moments of awkwardness and indecision. Don’t call attention to what you perceive as a lapse or error. Know, to, the difference between reality and the fantasy world you see in books and magazines.”
