The “10 Rules” of D/s

10:21 pm - Fri, May 18, 2012: 169 notes

The “10 Rules” of D/s

1. Be Patient

“To the Dominant, I say this: Until you enter into a relationship with a submissive, you have no more right to order him/her around than does anyone else. Give your submissive time to get to know you and what you are like. Finesse and subtlety are major elements of Dominance. Similarly, strength and gentleness go hand in hand. The sensitivity and awareness (or lack thereof) that you show in the real world is likely to be repeated in the playroom.

“To the submissive, I say this: A potential Dominant will let you know if She or He is interested in you or not. Keep in mind that your purpose as a submissive is to serve and to satisfy someone who will take into consideration the realisation of your fantasies. Don’t expect your Dominant to be able to turn on like a light switch. The timing must be right for both of you.”

2. Be Humble

“To the Dominant I say this: You may be God’s gift to the world, but no one needs to hear it or wants to hear it. You will have ample opportunities to show how good you are – and plenty of opportunities to make a fool of yourself. No matter what you claim, the “real you” will show through in a scene. Don’t set yourself up for a failure by developing expectations that you know you can never reach.

“To the submissive I say: You may be God’s gift to the world and the most sought after prize in town, but no one needs to hear it or wants to hear it. You will have ample opportunity to show how good you are. No matter what you claim, the “real you” will show through in a scene. Don’t set yourself up for failure by developing expectations that you know you will never allow a Dominant produce within you.”

3. Be Open

“To the Dominant I say this: Although you are considered to be the teacher in D/s relationship, you can always learn from your submissive, no matter how inexperienced. Be willing, as well, to learn from other Dominants who may have a totally different perspective from yours. Try to approach by-now-familiar trips with an attitude of wonderment and discovery. Be aware that everyone has her or his own personal style.

“To the submissive, I say this: You can learn something about SM and about yourself from E/everyone into the scene, no matter how experienced or inexperienced T/they are, or how Dominant or submissive T/they are. D/s- SM is a very personal art, and an “I already know it all” attitude will make you miss valuable SM lessons and experiences, and ignore potentially valuable D/s friends.”

4. Be Honest

“To the Dominant I say this: If you lack experience in an area that your submissive would like to experiment with, be honest about it. Your partner has a right to know that. Be honest with yourself and take your submissive only to those levels at which you are completely in control of the situation. Safety should always be the first concern, taking priority over how hot a particular scene is.

“To the submissive, I say this: Don’t be afraid to share your needs and fantasies. Your Dominant expects it. Honesty about your wants, health concerns, and turn-offs is essential to a good scene. Lying or being less than candid can only lead to problems, as the Dominant will base the scene on inaccurate information. Besides causing problems, it can be dangerous.”

5. Be Realistic

“To the Dominant I say this: End the scene with the submissive wanting more, not wishing there had been less. Remember that power, control, and sensitivity are the keys, not just the intensity of the stimulation. Be clear about what is fantasy, and has little to do with what works in practice. Your favourite porno picture books may be stimulating in themselves, but don’t try to imitate them to the last detail.

“To ths submissive, I say this: Your Dominant is human, and even the most experienced have moments of awkwardness and indecision. Don’t call attention to what you perceive as a lapse or error. Know, to, the difference between reality and the fantasy world you see in books and magazines.”

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